"Roy and I have been working together for almost 9 months now. Perhaps I am a hard nut to crack. Today I walk through my life a different person. Gone is the baggage or “conditioned tendencies” that held me back and held me down. Not gone really. They are there. I can access them if I want.
Today however, it is a choice. What really brought this change to my attention was the way people not only react to me but are attracted to me. I am now able to engage people in such a manner that they open up in ways that are astounding. All types of people, from the most professional to the down and out. I seem to have become the person I always knew I was but was unable to completely be. I simply could not open that tool box on my own.
Professionally my interactions are clear and direct. No they are not without my history but the difference now is I know when I am doing “it” and I can simply smile and quiet those voices down. I know who they are. And my history is quite handy actually. So it is onward and upward from here. Not only do I feel there is no stopping me - I am open to what lies ahead. Without fear by the way because I now somehow see everything as an opportunity either to learn, to help out, to make money.
Change takes time but when you can feel it on a visceral level the time it took seems like mere seconds. Now I am faced with the dilemma of how I want to make my millions. I guess it’s billions these days right?
C. Johnston
New York, New York
"Roy doesn't tell me what to do, he allows me to see what to do. I like that approach.
I was doing well but working a lot of hours and business fluctuated month-to-month. It was frustrating. I wanted consistent closings and cash flow like the top producers.
Five months later, I moved from the middle of the pack to one of the top 4 producing agents in a 120 agent office.
I could take a propeller airplane by myself and maybe get to my destination. Or, I could hop on the Concorde with Roy and shortcut the learning curve."
Robert D. H.
Long and Foster
New Jersey
Our Coaching Program
All People Are Unique But It All Begins With Their Stories
At the beginning of the movie Pretty Woman a man on the street says, “Welcome to Hollywood. Everybody’s got a story!”
There are just about no words that could be more true. We all live in our stories. The stories that are told to us and the ones that we make up about ourselves – we all live there.
Since that is where we all live, this is where our professional coaching program begins. Often we will say to people who express an interest in coaching – "Tell me the Reader’s Digest version of your life." It is amazing that everyone can tell this story.
At one point, I got to interview about 300-350 real estate top producers from all over North America. After breaking the ice, I would say, tell me “What’s the secret to your success?” Two things amazed me about that question: they all knew their secret and they were all willing to share it.
And so out of our stories – which, of course, are totally made up because they are only our side of the story, – comes how we show up in the world. Since the stories are all “made up” one has to wonder why we don’t make up more exciting stories about ourselves and our lives! One of the main reasons we don’t is because of what some call our “conditioned tendency.”
Conditioned Tendency
A person’s conditioned tendency is the result of things that they have learned or heard form the past from four sources – our family, cultural domestication, education and religion.
We have all heard of or have said ourselves about someone in response to his or her action – "Oh, they are always like that." The "that" that we are referring to is what might be called their conditioned tendency. We have a very quick, almost instantaneous, ability to consciously, or often subconsciously, know how someone will act given a given certain set of circumstances.
From our family source comes messages about our ethnicity and gender. From ourcultural domestication source comes messages about our nationality and regional area identity. From our educational source comes messages about our social class and our profession. From our religious source comes many messages about the ideas that we hold about ourselves and our relationship with the world and the universe.
From our ethnicity or family we can often hear people say, “Oh, I am … so I can’t ….” How many times have you heard or said to yourself, “Oh, I am too young, old, fat, skinny, tall, short etc. so I can’t ….” Often these ideas come from teachings that we learned from our family background.
From our cultural domestication process, we learn that we are “_ _ _ ian,” and that because we came from there, we are expected to act a certain way. The message is: “WE don’t do THAT!” This concept can move down from ethnic nationality to regionalism – “In the south, north, east, west, we do it this way.” In some cases, it even moves into very small areas. Generally these are very negative messages that we have learned to carry around for our entire life!
From the educational arena we can hear: “If only I had been able to go to an Ivy League school, I could have done so much better.” Maybe this person was unable to get into Harvard because he was unable to go to a great high school because he could not get into a great grammar school because he was unable to get into a great Head Start or kindergarten class! In reality, maybe this person lived in an area or places that did not even have good schools because his father was in the military and often his family moved from place-to-place. Perhaps she came from a family where education for girls and women was not valued. But one thing is sure – they all affected how we see the world today and how we show up in it.
Last, but not least, our religious teachings and beliefs have an enormous affect on who we are today. One does not even need to spend more than a few moments pondering this topic to be able to see the point here.
Noticing the Voices in Our Head
A masterful professional coaching program helps people notice the voices in their heads. Where do these voices come from? Almost all of them come from our conditioned tendencies and so, therefore, they can be tamed. It all starts by becoming able to notice the noticer. What actually happens is that people can be helped or taught to noticethe noticer and what they are actually doing is noticing or observing their conditioned tendency.
Several things happen at this point. First of all, they are able to make choices about whether or not to listen to the voice. Secondly, they can stop living in sadness about the past, or anger or disgust about the present or fear about the future. They can live in the present moment of what some call the NOW and be in joy.
When people are unable to notice the voices in their heads, they end up being slaves to their feelings and emotions which, left unchecked, can turn into more permanent conditions called moods.
Feelings and Emotions
There are four to six, depending on how you count them, fundamental emotions which are sadness — anger and disgust — fear — joy and love,
Everyone is experiencing one or more of these predominant emotions at any given time.
They can be thought of as a circle or square with sadness, anger, disgust, and fear surrounding joy and/or love. Love can be selfless agape love (the love of others) or erotic love, but in either case – love.
With our life coaching program, we help our clients notice which basic emotional state they are in at different times. This helps them move through it, release the conditioned tendency and take action or shift their state of being, so they can move back into the fundamental state of joy and love.
These emotional states can be experienced physically or energetically. When experienced as a physical state, they can be seen as one of action or relaxation. When experienced as an energy state, they can be felt as distant or close.
Moods
When we spend a considerable amount of time in a specific emotion we end up in what is called a mood.
Out of our emotional states we can make an assessment of fact or an assessment as to possibility. We can either oppose or accept our moods and be in one of four other states: resentment and having some desire for secret revenge or be in a state of resignation. We can be in a state of acceptance and live in peace or be in a state of ambition.
Transformational Change
In most cases, a person – the noticer or observer – takes an action and there is a result. If we are not satisfied or happy with the result, we change the action and hope for a different result.
And what if that doesn't work? It might be possible if, instead of returning to revise the action, we returned to reconsider the noticer or observer and take a look at, or revisit, how we were looking or noticing.
Using the transformational change model, a powerful or masterful life coaching program helps people notice the “noticer” or observe the “observer” and in that way they can chose to end up with a different transformational result.
There are two main ways that a life coach can apply the Transformational Change Theory and empower a person to transform or re-see him or herself – by:
Holding up the mirror and asking if this is how they chose to show up in the world.
Shining the spotlight into another place and asking if the person would like to look there.
Our Core Values
What we do is based on our core values and we believe that what we do helps make the lives of people more fulfilling, balanced and fun, which results in less work and more profit.
We value our broad, multidimensional, credentialed professional coaching backgrounds obtained from attending a variety of accredited and certified life coach and business coach training programs.
We value seeing people succeed as measured by working less and earning more money as a result of being more authentic, and living in the now – yet at the same time valuing the lessons learned in the past and optimistically looking forward to the future.
We value our decades of successful, multi-faceted, real estate experience which makes us recognized real estate authorities. We draw from this wealth of real estate experience and do not have to guess which real estate program or real estate answer will work best.
The combination of backgrounds — real estate and life coaching — that gives us the ability to really listen and to hear what is being said, as well as what is not being said. This engenders trust in us by our clients and, of course, what they say is always held as confidential information.
Our Principles
We hold that the client is naturally creative, resourceful and whole. This means that it is the client and not the business coach or life coach who has the answers. The business coach or life coach helps the client find his or her best answers.
The agenda comes from the client and not from the business coach or life coach. This means that the client can bring up any topic. The business coach or life coach does not hold that the client must or needs to …
A masterful life coaching program addresses the client’s whole life. This means that our professional coaching program is not just about real estate but about how life and work interact. For example, if a spouse is ill, it would be a miracle if a licensee could fully focus on work.
We dance in the moment. This means that what comes up is discussed. Usually, these are where the learning is the deepest and the opportunity for transformational changes is highest.
Does this look like what you have been seeking?
Does it feel like we might be a good fit for each other?
